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A letter to that Papa John’s driver

As we used to say in my hometown in Puerto Rico, “no tienes, madre cabron”. Thank you for making me swerve out of my lane at that fork in the road like that. I especially loved it when you drove right up to that guy who was a couple of yards ahead of me and then, barely stopping, you swerved into the opposite lane to pass him. I marveled at how you failed to recognize the traffic on that lane was going the opposite way, and how you missed a car going down that way by mere inches. I love how you nearly caused three different cars to crash, just to go into that exit just 2 yards away to deliver your pizza. I’ve never even liked Papa John’s pizza, but after repeatedly seeing drivers like you put everyone around them in danger, I’ll be sure never to order from there again.